My London-based little brother is in town with his girlfriend and it has been lovely. We spent yesterday eating and walking around, and there is really nothing better than time spent with kindred spirits.

Christmas and the day after were lovely. Today is pretty awesome because there are piles of dense, sparkly snow outside, and the street is oh-so-quiet except for people shoveling. I even saw a woman snowshoeing down the middle of Columbia this morning.

On Christmas day, we ate monkeybread, drank coffee/tea, listened to Vince Guaraldi and my new favorite xmas playlist that includes not only The Ramones and The Waitresses, but some sweet songs by Bishop Allen and Coconut Records (available as free downloads here.) Then we opened presents!

After a little cleanup, we started cooking for our friend's Christmas dinner. The whole house smelled so cheery from the torte and the caramelizing butternut squash (off the hook delicious, by the way.) Getting to the Upper East Side was surprisingly easy, and the evening unfolded without strife or stress. Basically the total opposite of holidays at my family's house and at TA's family's house. It really makes a difference having parents who are free of mental illness. Go figure.

At first, TA and I could not relax. We were sitting on the sofa, stressing out about just sitting there. Shouldn't we be arranging/cooking/cleaning/repairing? No. After about an hour (and a cocktail, it should be stated) we were happily ensconced in our friend's family, her parents happily telling us about the heated bird bath they have in Northeastern Montana, etc. It was so peaceful and nice. Then our friend's mom said after dinner, "Would anyone be interested in a game of cards?" (My mother would never suggest such a thing. She hates games.) I love games!!! It was perfect.

Yesterday, we slept in without the use of Ambien which is pretty miraculous. We tidied the house, read our new books, then walked through the snowstorm to the theater to see True Grit.

All in all, a beautiful holiday. Merry Christmas to everyone!

'Tis the season for eating and drinking too much. I am trying to be nice to my kidneys, and chase everything with tons of water, but it's hard when you go out to restaurants and parties every other day. I'd rather reach for the hot spiced wine, the spiked mulled cider, the frisky glass of champagne, the port with a clementine twist than drink water, to tell you the truth.

Yesterday, I had lunch at The Spotted Pig with Best Neighbor Ever. A friend of mine once called some pickled onions Mr Bingo had made "aggressively flavorful," and that's just about the best way to describe the food at The Pig: aggressively flavorful. The fries are shoestring thin, crispy, sprinkled with slivered garlic, chopped rosemary and loads of salt. So, so, so good. The kale comes with chunks of bacon. The burgers have a thick, melting slab of sharp blue cheese on top. So fucking delicious. It's no wonder Jay-Z has his own private dining room upstairs.

I came home after a very full day of socializing to a house that smelled of apples, onions and roast loin of pork with rosemary. TA had invited Mr Bingo over for dinner as a pre-Christmas celebration. We started with an escarole and white bean soup, and then ate the pork with roasted potatoes and parsnips. The best part was the gravy that TA made, some sort of magical reduction with apple cider, mustard and butter.

Today, for our holiday luncheon (oh yes, TA and I take ourselves out to lunch the week before Christmas, our version of the office holiday party) we went to Mile End, a Montréal-style smoked meat palace in our neighborhood. Man oh man, so salty, so smoky, so tastebuds-going-crazy flavorful. TA had the smoked meat poutine which was just nuts. How he's still alive and not in the emergency room from a coronary, I do not know.

I've been doing a lot of cooking, and most of the recipes have come from the food startup I work for. And can I just brag and say that the dishes have been terrific? I took these apéro savouries to a friend's party, and everyone raved. I made this monkeybread, and TA demanded I make it for Christmas morning (it's rising right now.) We're invited to dinner tomorrow night, and I'm making this caramelized squash, and this torte for which I'm also making maple spice ice cream.

We have a special dinner planned for tonight, but I have no idea how I'm going to eat it. I've been stuffed since Tuesday.

I taught this morning at 8. It was an hour and fifteen minute class that I prepared 6 hours for. If you add in all the sleep lost to stress dreams and teaching nightmares, I'd say I probably prepared more like 11 hours.

11 hours of preparation to teach one 1.5 hr class. You don't do it for the reasonableness of hours invested versus benefits reaped. Clearly.

Last night I had my penultimate mentoring session and one of my fellow teachers said, "Can I confess to the group something that I probably shouldn't talk about?" She went on to discuss how she's in a teaching crisis, wondering if this is really for her, if this is what she's meant to be doing, and that sometimes she feels like she's stymied by all of the requirements. So I practically shouted, "We're all in the same boat!" My good friend from Teacher Training was all, "here, here!" I think this is one of the great perks of the mentoring sessions -- that we can all get together and compare notes and commiserate when things don't go well.

Speaking of comparing notes, I've been subbing for 2 of the teachers in my mentor group and last night, one of them warned me about one of the students I'd likely have in class this morning. A student, she said, "who is a not a good student." Being "not good" is not about not being able to do certain poses; it has to do with not listening, not following instructions, not being respectful of the teacher's role.

Sure enough, this woman was in my class this morning and I was on her, gently, like white on rice. Fortunately there was only one other student so it's not like I had to abandon 10 other people in order to focus on the one bad apple. It was manageable. But it really made me wonder why these sorts of people even bother going to class. If you're not going to allow yourself to be taught, why not just practice at home and do whatever you want? My feeling, and that of the two teachers who warned me, is that on some fundamental level, this student does indeed want guidance but doesn't know how to go about letting it in. It might be a control issue, or it could even be that her mind/body grasp is tenuous or that the signal from her brain to her muscles is slow.

The thing is, she was super happy after class. She asked me if I was on the regular schedule, when I would be subbing next, and that was nice. It made me feel like even if I felt like I flubbed my sequence, or said goofy things, it worked for her and that's all that matters. The other student was also happy which made me feel good.

I'm still not sure teaching is worth it, and I don't know how sustainable it is to always take Ambien the night before I teach to keep the stress nightmares at bay, but I'm giving myself a little more time to decide whether it's for me or not. I'm just relieved to have other teachers to talk to, who understand the torture we willingly put ourselves through to ensure that students not just have an expansive physical experience, but an opening of the mind and heart as well.

And I am so, so grateful to not have to teach next week. I need some shut-eye!

Even though I myself would love to be on vacation, I am looking forward to all of my clients being away so that I can finally tackle this mountain of work without interruptions.

It is the season of parties, and I am feeling like a real New Yorker now. We are out every night! There is no food in the fridge! We order takeout or eat finger foods at parties! I have no clean laundry!

Last Saturday night, an opening and a party; Monday night a party for a book launch; tonight an opening for an artist; Friday night a cupcake tasting and benefit; Saturday night a party; Sunday an open house party; Monday night drinks with friends from out of town; Tuesday a holiday party with the startup kids.

It is super fun, but it is also a little, "Oh my god, I should buy stock in Boiron because I am being powered by caffeine, alcohol and Oscillococcinum." Somehow I see no contradiction in swallowing homeopathic medication while nursing a cocktail? Hey, I always order the cocktail with ginger in it, you know, for its medicinal properties.

I taught this morning at 7:15.

That means, I was awake at 5:15, showered and tea'd up by 6, out the door by 6:20. I got to class half an hour early to get into character, turn on lights, fire up the computer, and make sure the space was warm enough. There were four students, one of them a fellow teacher (ack!) and I think it went alright.

I can't figure out why I didn't make it through my entire sequence. Did I front-load too many warmup poses? It's hard to tell. It snowed last night, and was pretty cold this morning, so I didn't want to rush through to some apex pose without making sure they were ready. Of the poses I had to omit, I'm a little sad I didn't have time for toe stretches. Those would have been so nice before savasana (especially since my class emphasized fingers and toes.)

Anyway, one student said, "Great class!" at the end which was very sweet, and the fellow teacher also said the same thing. I'm not so sure it was "great"; it was certainly "good", at times "inspired", and occasionally "funny." I think the mentoring sessions have been incredibly helpful as I didn't feel quite as nervous, and also felt more comfortable with my verbal instructions. I made one critical mistake in instructing how to get out of a twist, but apart from that, no major snafus.

Deep exhalation...

Ack! How can it already be December? I can't believe how time has flown since July. I know I always say this, but it's nuts around here.

For starters:
- I'm subbing for a bunch of different teachers this month, and ta da! Already stressing about it. One of the reasons I wanted to stay in NYC and not rush off to Paris right away is that I wanted to give myself a chance to see how this teaching thing would work out. So now I've got some test cases (just don't tell the students!) It will good to see how my teaching has improved (if it has done anything) as a result of my mentoring sessions.

- Thanksgiving was great. We went to Best Neighbors Ever's apt in New Haven, and spent the night. The food was superb as usual, and there was lots and lots of wine. We brought a bottle of champagne to celebrate, and it was so delicious that I bought another bottles of it for ourselves. BNE's kid is almost two, and he was sweet... that is, when he wasn't exhibiting signs of Terrible Twoness. Man, I don't know how people do it. Is it possible for a kid to skip that whole "No!" phase entirely?

- The food startup folks are going to start paying me which is very exciting. I'm thrilled that everything's more official, and that they want to keep me on board. I really like working with them, and being part of something that's growing and cool. This is another reason I wanted to stay in NYC— I wanted to see if my contributions to the site might amount to something a little more real, and if I might be given an opportunity to do more. And I am definitely being given more chances to participate. Just this week: two meetings!

- I got an email from my Younger Sister, almost a year to the day she sent me her kiss-off message. Based on the recipient list, it may have been spam, or something sent by accident. Whatever the case may be, both my older sister (who also received it) and I sent her emails asking how she's doing. From what little information trickles down from my mother, Younger Sister is doing very poorly. Over Thanksgiving break, she had some kind of seizure and was in the hospital for a couple of days. It is very, very sad, and makes me especially sad for my parents.

- I've been on a bit of a spending bender, and it needs to come to an end. I bought super adorable Araks lingerie (on sale!), and I finally bit the bullet and bought those Repetto booties I've had my eye on since July. I also bought some new jeans on Gilt, and am kicking myself that I didn't buy two pairs. Who knew they would fit so well? So now I'm on a mission to source these jeans elsewhere, and naturally this is taking valuable time away from things I really ought to be doing like, oh, working. But shopping is so much more fun!

- We've seen two whole apartments on our hunt, and they were both ridiculous: both too expensive for their sizes, both too small and hideous, with crumbling ceilings, and in one, a hardwood floor being installed in the wrong direction. According to the real estate agents, it's slim pickings in our area right now, and that suits us just fine. We're month-to-month, are not in a rush and are looking for the right place. All we want is a clean apartment with some period details, white paint, a decent kitchen, southwestern exposure, on a quiet street. Apparently we are asking for a unicorn.

More news to follow...